Being in charge of a startup has been crazy busy, exhilarating, frustrating, disappointing, and made me really question who I am and want to be as a leader. So, today was one of those glorious days when I realized why it is so important to let your team get to know you and have a sense of who you are beyond the boss world.
We created our work environment based on the concept of being an ecosystem. How we support each other is critical to the functioning of the ecosystem, which requires getting to know the people around you in a fairly intimate way. Having had many bosses who held people at arm’s distance, in this venture I chose to mirror what we as a team are trying to accomplish and in doing so let my team get to know me in a way that is new for me as a leader. We reinforced the concept of the ecosystem in that by letting people in (which definitely means saying you don’t know and acknowledging being wrong) you become a much stronger person and consequently a better leader. Today, my peeps floored me.
I’m not one for big celebrations for two reasons (not listed in order of importance): First, I blush in so many shades of red, Jackson Pollack would have a whole new paint scheme going. Second, I so much prefer giving praise to the amazing people I work with thn listening to compliments about my work. My team is well aware of this and managed to pull off the best surprise birthday celebrations I have ever had.
Because my schedule varies, the team decided that today was the day to celebrate my birthday. The entire team managed to keep secret from me their plans to redesign my office into an inner sanctum of the rock and roll hall of fame (with homage to the Beastie Boys). On top of that, they orchestrated a crowd to sing, convinced friends of mine to send them photos, more flowers than one could expect in a lifetime, an unbelievable cake (with photos screened onto the cake), a funny iphone treat, and secreted me out of the office for lunch (while I was technically in a meeting with one of our vendors). It was truly awesome and inspiring that this team carried off such a detailed celebration and did it because they wanted me to know they cared. This far outweighs any leadership award or company bonus I have ever received. I am in awe of my team and humbled by their support.
To top it off, as I was preparing to leave work this evening, I bumped into one of our former kids who was coming back in for an evaluation. As we were walking across campus this brave scrawny 13 year old boy was explaining to me what he has learned since his first visit to us. The pride in his voice at being able to say that he told someone about his feeling like wanting to hurt himself and not acting on it because he finally felt that people would hear him absolutely melted me. We’re definitely doing something right and that is the best reflection and attribute to the amazing team I work with.
Just listened to a painful NPR podcast “Stuck and suicidal in a post-katrina trailer park.” It is unbelievable what people are still going through in terms of trying to put their lives back together. In the podcast the desperation you hear in the people’s voices is tragic. They have been trying to get their lives back together and have jobs and families but the impact of being re-rooted and isolated is horrifying.
I believe a major failure in our emergency response system is true analysis of how people live and what they need beyond the tangible things post disaster. As mental health funding gets cut in California (AB2034), I shudder to think what ramifications will result in the next disaster.
npr story: "stuck and suicidal in a post Katrina trailer park"
What are Assembly Bills AB34 and AB2034?
In 1999, the California State Legislature authorized $10 million for the creation of programs designed to provide integrated community outreach support to individuals who were homeless, at risk of homelessness or incarceration, and had a serious mental illness. In 2000, approximately $55 million was appropriated to expand the program to 23 additional counties.
Results from cuts to funding:
1. Closure of community programs that help the homeless and mentally ill population rebuild their lives
2. Loss of support and treatment for homeless and mentally ill people
3. Many more homeless people and mentally ill people on the street
4. More kids ending up in shelters and being placed in the foster care system as their parents are unable to provide adequate care
5. Healthcare dollars spent on unnecessary acute care hospitalizations for the mentally ill instead of being used to fund community programs
I could go on and on but I promised to keep this brief as I must get to work and prep for the possible JCAHO visit tomorrow.
So a long overdue post …. Reasons why New York is silly crazy.
Ariane (my über bright and beautiful architect sister) and I were popping out of her place in NYC to run errands about 2 weeks ago when, lo and behold, what is discovered in the trash …. (no we weren’t sorting, they were delicately placed on top of the pile of smelly refuse, begging (screaming!) to be taken to a new home) .... but WASILY CHAIRS!!!!! This is not a joke!! I repeat NOT a joke.
Marcel Breuer made the chairs in 1926 at the Bauhaus. He named them the 'Wassily' chairs after his friend the painter Wassily Kandinsky. Now, without an architect sister you may not know all of that, however, you would have walked by and been smitten by how cool these chairs are.
Just in case you were trying to be a smart ass and diss on the chairs, here’s a wiki link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wassily_Chair
Now you want to know what we did, don’t you?
So, in the midst of my 48 hours of melancholy, my dear friend, Julie, returned from a fabulous adventure in London. She popped back to SF in the mid-afternoon and, it being a Wednesday, we were at Sushi Zone shortly thereafter spewing about all the grand things that have happened in the past week and catching up with Al (the sushi chef). Unfortunately, Hideko had the night off – exams and what not.
Anyhow, we had another fabulous dinner at the Zone with our “usual” meal. Thereafter, the sun was still out, albeit setting with a wind that was whipping (in the SF way not the middle of America tornado way) through us which inspired a run to a delightful friggin’ wine store. Sounds like a fancy adventure, ay? Oh no, we found ourselves on 17th St. popping into a corner grocery store which, I kid you not, had an amazing wine selection. Dominus at a corner store!!!! I love SF.
So, our timing was impeccable in that the head chef from Nopa was there sampling a couple of wines that one of the local sellers, Itzick, happened to bring by. Can I tell you how fabulous it is to jump onto a wine tasting of a restaurant celebrity? Mmmmm….
So, why go to the local nondescript random corner grocer for wine? Well, if you had Sam running the joint, his maman making the (delicious) deviled eggs, and Itzik buying the wine, you, too, would jump in. Itzik regaled with stories about wine and the art of selling wine as well as other stories about his 20+ years in the hotel industry and “making relations.” Excellent stories illustrating human nature to a beautiful degree. Sam has an incredible nose and palette. Thus, began the game of “let me brown bag a bottle and you guess the year, vintage and appellation.” I kid you not, Sam was dead on for five out of five bottles, and not your everyday bottles by any means. So amazing to see someone nail it because he truly enjoys wine and not because he’s trying to become a sommelier. That is the type of wine knowledge I would love to have – an appreciation of the art with a sensitive palette and nose to be able to distinguish but to always know when a $12 bottle can be as wonderful an experience as the $1000 bottle – after all, doesn’t it really boil down to who you are sharing the wine with and how happy you are in that moment and then the quality of the wine?
Thus, under the guise of further educating myself, we sampled several wines and ended up in wine (and life) discussions for about 2 hours. Hours later I walked out with a 2 pinots, a cab, a claret, a petite syrah, and a zin. Of course, given that the wine fridge is about to explode, I think it’s time for a Wii and Guitar Hero afternoon. We’ll call it a wine tasting and pair wines with food and video games! Who knows, it could be a remarkable pairing and the budding of a new restaurant or lounge trend.
Let’s talk grass. Being part of teamworks for Hands on Bay Area, I spent Saturday morning in a glorious park (the name I can’t reveal or it will be flooded with people, seriously, it’s a Bond thing). This park is situated in the midst of a lovely neighborhood and is fairly nondescript from the outside. There is even a significant thoroughfare around the corner.
Yet, once you step in the park, it’s magical. The grass is so lush and soft and dotted with beautiful little white and yellow flowers. There is a natural lake (one of two left in SF) which is teeming with life and big squawking ducks. There are gorgeous huge trees, walking paths, lots of adorable dogs roaming around and chasing Frisbees, tennis and basketball courts, and a playground. Certain parts of the park fall within SF jurisdiction while the rest is under the presidio trust (by the way, por favor, support the trust – it needs to be self sufficient by 2013 and we don’t want to see it cut up and turned into apartments - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Francisco_Presidio)
Ok, ok, why do I feel the need to talk about grass? We spent the day in the park cleaning up a section which entailed identifying certain native CA plants and pruning them, pulling weeds, mulching, and getting rid of certain grasses. I, of course, assumed that all grass is good in a park but, oh no, there are definitely certain grasses that overtake other grasses and plants and essentially choke them. Spending all morning talking about and interacting with nature, led to all sorts of discussions about the environment.
The discussion I found most fascinating was - are we supposed to destroy our environment as humans? Native Americans cultivated land and changed the face of the soil, the plants, and the animals. In essence, they “destroyed” the environment, as it was in order to take care of their population. Natures changes and in changing some species survive, some don’t. The grass that chokes out the other grasses survives but provides less nourishment to the species.
So the question, of course, turned into a discussion about current issues around climate control. Thus, is global warming a method by which humans will naturally destroy each other and permit something new to come about? If something is destroying earth “naturally” (cows and their methane gas, trees planted at the equator put forth more heat in the atmosphere which intensifies global warming) – are these natural causes acceptable versus the man made causes related to cars, population, and pollution? Should we only try to control the man-made factors that are wreaking havoc with the atmosphere? Should we allow natural events in nature to occur? If we didn’t clean up the park, would the community stop using it? Would kids no longer play in the park? What are the long term consequences? Anyhow, tons of questions to mull over and think about as you renew your TerraPass (http://www.terrapass.com/)
And to end on a totally random other piece of information I learned while in the park - Earthworms, which were brought to the US by Europeans, actually have a species that is actually causing a decline in certain plants.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/01/0102_030102_earthworms.html
Sarkozy winning the French election puts France in a quagmire. Change and the French do not go hand in hand and, yet, we all see that France needs to change in order to stem the current problems that are pervasive in France (economic stagnation, lack of jobs, little hope for the youth, immigration woes, a system of longstanding handouts, a general sense of apathy). Sarklozy needs to figure out how to integrate change into the French lifestyle in order to be successful. (great article care of Grant McCracken which I actually read through Tyler Cowen's post - http://www.cultureby.com/trilogy/2007/04/france_at_the_i.html and Tyler Cowen's blog is http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/)
France needs to develop a government that works in the context of today's world and the impact of globalization. Too many people in France have become apathetic and wishing for what used to be. And the young people with the ideas and the determination to make things happen, find themselves leaving the country looking for a better future or even worse discarding their dreams in order to not be disappointed. May Sarkozy create real change and unite the country in moving forward and develop a future for France and French youth.
My hands are still shaking as I type this. What a fabulous weekend of hockey! The Friday night Sabres game was outstanding with the Sabres tying it up in the last 7 seconds!!!! And then winning it in OT! Today, the Sabres WON a tough game against the Rangers with goals flying right and left after the first period. The final score was 5 – 4. The Rangers played hard to avoid elimination but, alas for Ranegrs fans, Buffalo was on fire and connecting their passes, lining up shots, and Miller was a godsend as he plucked the puck out of the air several times. And, now the Sabres advance to the semi-finals.
Sabres will face Ottawa Senators in the semi-finals. So, cross your fingers for a quick four – five game set with the Sabres coming out victorious. Stanley Cup baby!!! Wooohooo!
By the way, a random but fun note, my hockey buddy Loren (Sharks fan) checked in after today’s game to see how quickly I would be gloating about today’s win.
And, if you really want a great review of the game, check out Johnny’s site (http://www.buffalolove.blogspot.com/)
I love farmer’s markets because you get to talk with the people who are actually growing the products and the taste of something fresh from a farm is unbelievably delicious and richer in flavor. Although, I must say that part of the reason the taste is so divine is because you are surrounded by a concentrated aroma of the vegetable or fruit or cheese or whatever you are buying and you tend to be in a pretty happy frame of mind at a farmer’s market, thus, it’s naturally going to taste and smell better than when purchasing something in the sterile rows of a grocery store.
Take for example – onions. Susannah and I had no intention of buying onions, we were just poking around for lunch. Lo and behold, we come across a bounty of glistening onions with a pungent smell that just sucked us in. Add to that, a fabulous old man with a booming voice yelling “Sweet onions, get your swwwweeeeettttt onions.” That definitely pulled us in because we could not understand how such a tangy onion smell would yield a sweet onion. Given our skepticism the fellow did encourage us to bite right into an onion and taste it’s sweet goodness. While we both declined as the mushroom leek and asparagus turnovers were calling our name, we did walk away with onions. I did sample the onions this morning in my omelette and must say, they were fabulous and indeed, sweet. Next week I am tempted to pick up a vat of them and make some soup or caramelized onion pizzas.
Anyhow, forget the onions and let’s talk strawberries! Mmmmmm….’tis the season. As you can imagine, I, of course, went overboard and bought too many baskets of strawberries. In order not to get overwhelmed by the sickly sweet smell of pounds of fresh strawberries, I spent the afternoon making jam.
My grandmother made jam all the time in spring and summer when the fruit trees on her property would ripen. We had peach, blueberry, raspberry, plum, strawberry, and cherry jam and all sorts of mashups throughout the summer. The best would be towards the end of fall when you would discover the last remaining jar of strawberry jam and when you opened it, the smell took you right back tot the sticky days of summer. My grandmother and mother were brilliant in terms of thinking of ways to keep little kids occupied and out of trouble in summer. Many mornings they would talk about picking fruit during breakfast so that by the time breakfast was over we would race upstairs get dressed and be begging to spend the morning picking fruit. So while we would zip in and out of rows of blueberries or spend hours hunched over strawberries, my mother and grandmother would have some peace and be able to enjoy a leisurely morning outside. Of course, at the end of the morning we were always stained red and blue but then we’d just jump in the pool and rinse off.
So, for the first batch of spring, this strawberry jam turned out to be pretty damn good. My grandmother would be proud. Sweet but with a hint of lemon to make it tangy and not cloying but with a rich strawberry perfume that evokes a hazy summer morning
So today was a team training day for Hands on Bay Area. Of course, training means ICE BREAKERS!!! Yahoo! My favorite thing – public speaking about me (argh). Just thinking about it, I feel the blush creeping up my face. Anyhow, it turned out to be a fun day and great start to getting to know our team of 12 peeps and I am so excited about the projects we have coming up.
One of the ice breakers was “cross the line” where statements are read aloud and you step forward if the statement applies to you. The statements were all fairly provocative in their nature. I found I was forced to challenge my stereotypes as people stepped forward and back.
The statement that generated the most interesting discussion within the group as “I am in a relationship.” I imagine that if you are dating someone exclusively, in a marriage, in a committed partnership, etc., you instinctively take that step. For the people in the gray zone where perhaps, in your mind it is a “relationship” but maybe it’s only been two or three dates, those people hesitated, That was where the crux of where the discussion led.
When a statement like “I am in a relationship” is thrown out for you to react to – what is your instinct versus your action? Do you think of only a sexual relationship? A partnership? Family? Friends?
The discussion that ensued in our group focused upon how one defines a relationship and the nature of one’s environment in identifying a relationship. Eventually, what we came around to was how does one define a relationship in the context of now and what is happening in that person’s life.
One of my relationships is with a person I see infrequently (maybe four times per year). However, the ideas I share with that person and the importance I place on time spent with that person is so of great consequence for me. That train of thought led me to think about my family because they are all on the east coast of the US and on the west coast of France and, obviously, I don’t see them very frequently (although the thought of taking up flying lessons has crossed my mind). Because I am not physically present with them, does that diminish the relationship? Or, because my siblings and I communicate frequently, is that the bond that keeps us solid?
When I thought of the statement about relationships, I must say family did not enter my mind, because to me they are such a part of me there is little distinction between relationship, family, and self. One feeds the other in the context of my life and my choice of a definition of relationships. And, truthfully, to me my friends are my family and perhaps as was much better stated by Susannah, “my friends are my urban family”. Again, back to how do I respond to the statement I am in a relationship?
I found myself not stepping forward although I recognize I am involved in hundreds of relationships everyday. However, in the context in which I heard the statement, I imagined the issue was - are you in a relationship with a significant person that would be considered your partner. Simultaneously, others in the room heard it the exact same way. Was it because the 12 of us are roughly similar in age and came together for reasons which echoed across all our lives? Has society so impregnated the world relationship that it is characterized by intimacy and in relationships where one is not intimate, one does not step forward? Are we so fearful of being in intimate relationships that we can’t acknowledge when we are involved with someone? Are people looking around the corner for the “next best thing” when perhaps that very person and relationship is all ready present?
All in all, it set off an interesting chain of thought for the group and in mind as I continued to mull the statement over throughout the rest of the day and sough many opinions on what does it actually mean for different people.
My conclusions at this point – you define your relationships and the value they hold for you. If someone is important in your life, I would hope they are aware of the place they hold and treat it with love and respect and ditto to you and the role you hold for others. That would apply across the board to friends, families, and lovers. I’m not asking for people to bare their souls and purge themselves of any white lies they have ever told, I just want people to show they care for each other and be honest in the opinions they give. Whether or not you step forward when the statement is tossed out is up to you, I think it is much more important that you can smile and think of a loved one in that moment and not feel alone regardless of what step you choose to take.
I was just grinning thinking about what a fabulously lovely past several days I have had. In terms of work I was able to finish two major parts of the licensing piece which moves us closer to opening on time. Wednesday night I dined at my favorite sushi joint with Julie and then went to see Air at the Nob Hill Masonic Center (wonderful show but a very weird crowd). Thursday I had a delightful evening at Two with the fabulous women of the BPM (now rechristened in some crazy Greek letters). Friday evening was an east Bay evening with the posse kicking it off with dinner at Venus followed by a David Sedaris performance. Angry raisins and zombies were hot topics during the show, I kid you not. Saturday morning Susannah and I did our Hands on Bay Area project and then wandered the farmer’s market enjoying the sunshine and sampling all sorts of treats. Tonight, it’s off to Café KATi. See, it’s been a truly lovely past couple of days. And the Sabres won and are up 2 games on the Rangers!!!! Thus, I grin. (and, yes, that is a freckle on my lip)
